The Day My Father Died, My Migration Started.

How did the worst day of my life become a memorable one?

It was a warm August in 2021 when, at 9 am, I received the most challenging call:

– Juliana, you have to come to the hospital now. Dad had a stroke, and the doctor asked us to say goodbye to him-.

The day my father died, my world fell apart.

My first thought was, “Why me?” I was only 25, and I wished that my dad’s life had been longer. I wanted to say more to him; there were many words and anger stuck in my heart.

I grew up with a half-present dad. He was there to teach me how to swim, drive, or even ride a horse. Yet, an “I love you” from his lips was scarce. 

When death comes to your door, logic is the last thing that comes to you. Besides the exhausting paperwork to bury a body, your heart is in panic, your body feels desolated, and you are trying to understand: what now? How do we move on with this grief process?  

Even worse, how do you grieve while you are in the process of migrating?

Griefing While Migrating

I could not be there on the day of my dad’s funeral. I was flying from Medellín to Bogotá to apply for my student visa in Germany. I had been waiting for three months to get that appointment, and coincidentally, it was the same day I had to say goodbye.

At first, I thought it was bad luck, but later on, I found out my mother had the same situation. The day she had an appointment to join the Colombian Police, she could not attend because her dad had passed away.

“There is no coincidence in life that is not trying to give you a message.”

In my case, it was an invitation to let go of the heavy and start to flow with the world. The day my father died, my dream of migrating began. Three months later, I moved to Berlin, carrying his memory and the strength he instilled in me.

The day my father died, my dream of migrating began.

After death, you start to see a different perspective on life. Now, you wish to have these extra minutes of hugging your loved one. -If you had not been so hard on your dad, you may not have had to heal alone- I said to myself.

The truth is that after death, nobody will come to apologize. You had to do the job yourself. You learned that forgiveness comes from your heart, not somebody’s mouth.

5 Lessons

If you are reading this while you recently moved to another country or are in the process of doing so and, unfortunately, you lost somebody close to you, let me tell you, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”

I migrated three years ago, and still, the pain is there. However, you will recognize that it is more manageable and can be used as a motor to keep going.

I want to share with you five of the biggest lessons I learned from my dad´s death. In the end, this blog is only a tribute to William Moreno.

1. Grieving is not a linear process. There will be days when you enjoy every single part of the day and others when you question why you left your country and family. There is no need to minimize your feelings.
2. There is no plan for tomorrow. My father was planning to visit my brother, who has lived in Europe since 2011, but he never did it. He kept organizing and waiting to do things before coming, but life does not wait for endless “hopes.” A book recommended is The Power of Now.
3. Be loyal to yourself. Whether the world criticizes you or your way of living, the only way to coexist is by being authentic. Love yourself no matter what and own it. Check my article about Impostor Syndrome.
4. Success is made step by step: There is no easy way to achieve whatever you want. You must take steps toward your goals and be relentless. Nobody will make your dreams come true for you.
5. Be gentle with everybody: You never know who sits next to you and can give you a hand tomorrow. Or even better, you do not know who is having a terrible day. Let´s be kind to each other.

My dad came to this world to be a great teacher, so I honored him with this text.

Are you going through a similar situation? Please send me a message. I’m open to talking with you about it.